


Let it hurt

by Alenacantfly



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies)
Genre: Character Study, M/M, Missing Scene, kinda what went through Q's mind, spectre messed my feelings up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 18:48:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5216726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alenacantfly/pseuds/Alenacantfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You may feel a small … prick.” Q knew that it was anything but a small prick. It really had to hurt. Good. Let it hurt. If Bond wouldn't always run off on his own and throw himself into danger headfirst, then this wouldn't be necessary.</p><p>So let it hurt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let it hurt

“You may feel a small … prick.” Q knew that it was anything but a small prick. It really had to hurt. Good. Let it hurt. If Bond wouldn't always run off on his own and throw himself into danger headfirst, then this wouldn't be necessary.

So let it hurt.

 

“I completely understand.” “Right. Well, I just. Erm.” Q was stumbling over his words. Q never stumbled. But he hadn't expected Bond to accept it so easily.

 

“But you can have this.” It was more than a peace offering for his taunting. It was a way to protect and mark. M hadn't allowed him to give Bond any gadgets, but the clock wasn't exactly a gadget. Yes, it could explode. Could protect Bond's life if necessary. But it was also something Bond would be wearing around his wrist. A little piece of Q that he would always carry around with him.

Not a gadget.

Maybe not even a peace offering.

Just a gift.

A silent request.

Q's way of telling Bond to please stay safe. To return to him.

 

“I answer directly to M. I also have a mortgage and two cats to feed.” Q did not answer to Bond. Q did not owe Bond anything. Q just needed to remember that.

“Then I suggest you trust me.” Trust was not the issue. Trust would never be an issue. Q had never been a trusting person, but one look from Bond has always been enough to break all his walls down.

 

“... during the first 24 hours.” Q would do anything for Bond. It was his one weakness. And the 00-agent knew it. Q suppressed a sigh. The look in Bond's eyes was enough to tell him that he needed more. 

“48 hours.” But that was all he could promise him. 

“I'll send you a postcard.” It was Bond's way of saying 'thank you'. 

“Please don't.” Q could feel the beginning of a headache starting to form.

 

“I just fancied a break.” He didn't have to mention that he was scared shitless of flying. Bond probably knew. He also didn't have to mention that he just wanted to make sure that Bond was okay. To convince him to come home.

“Franz Oberhauser is dead.” Q wanted to ask Bond to please just come home. But of course Bond had to stubborn. Q had always admired his strong will. But in that moment he wanted to murder him.

“Do one more thing for me. Then you're out. Find out what you can from this.” Q would do anything for Bond. Even if he believed it to be madness. Even if it could get him fired. Even if it could get him killed.

“I really hate you right know.” No, Q could never hate him. And Bond knew.

“Thank you, Q.”

 

“Bond?”

Q had watched silently as Bond had risked his life to save Madeleine. Had felt some sort of pride and relief as Bond proved that not all 00-agents were ruthless killers. Had not moved a single muscle as Bond had turned around and walked away from him, from this life. Towards her.

Q tried to shut all those feelings out. But he couldn't stop thinking about it. His brain was telling him that it didn't make any sense. Bond had known Madeleine for only a few days. And he was giving everything up for her, pieces that made Bond who he was.

Because this life would always be a part of who he was.

Or at least of who he had been, before he decided to throw it all away. For her.

For a stranger.

So what was he doing? Why had he come back?

“What are you doing here?” Q tried to stomp on the hope that was blooming in his chest.

“Good morning, Q.” His voice gave nothing away. 

Q couldn't stay away. He never could. He was out of his seat and walking towards James before he even knew it.

“I thought you were gone.” Please, don't let him be gone.

“I am.” Q felt his emotions shut down.

“There's just one thing I need.” Of course. Of fucking course. Why should he have come back anyway?  
He needed something from Q. He always did.

“What is it?”

 

Q watched as Bond drove away, taking the one thing with him that had remained from him. Taking the last thing Q had of him.

“I hate him!”, Q spat.

Moneypenny smiled sadly, shaking her head. “No, you don't.”

No, he didn't.

He never could.

**Author's Note:**

> I saw Spectre yesterday and just have a lot of feelings about this movie. (Sorry for any misquoting, I didn't see it in English)  
> (I might add a second, fix-it chapter, but I am quite content with how this turned out. What do you think?)  
> You may have noticed that Q calls James Bond 'Bond' in his head most of the time, until he lets himself hope that there could be more. Then he starts thinking of him as James, which is shut down as quickly as his hope :/
> 
> Kudos and comments are very welcome :) 
> 
> [ You can find me on Tumblr :) ](http://sterekruinedme.tumblr.com/)  
> 


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